Kim Wong

Luvstep2

2011-11-27T00:02:00.001+11:00

and the heart breaks, and the cracks begin to show

can luvstep be any better?

Luvstep 2

2011-11-26T23:00:00.001+11:00

why didn’t you write me? It wasn’t over for me!
I wrote you everyday…
you wrote me?
….. it ain’t over for me, still ain’t over.

aint no body love me like you do
aint nobody love me like you do

such a good dubstep. ahhh… Yamaha kind of fails though. I think I need over-ear headphones.

What a girl wants

2011-11-26T11:33:00.001+11:00

I want a machine that breaks the rules of physics.
I want to restart.
I want to stop crying.
I want to stop loving.
I want to have it all back.
I want to wake up from this nightmare.
I want it to stop hurting.
I want my epic summer back.
I want my summer.
I want my summer.
oh my God, I want my summer.

I wish I was there.
I wish you weren’t there.
I wished I made you stay and made you miserable for the night.
but how could I?
and how could you?

I wish. I wish. I wish.

^{I told you you weren’t THAT tall in year 12!}

a nightmare

2011-11-26T11:26:00.001+11:00

I woke up this morning feeling great.
I was relieved, I sighed the biggest sigh.
It felt like a dream and I smiled to myself, why do I keep dreaming silly things like these?
Then it hit me.
Fck.

So I woke up crying to myself like I always do when I dream of things like these.
But I cried, not because I was terrified that it will happen.
I cried because it happened.
Like a stupid girl, I still love you,
But I hate you the same time.

I swear my dreams always realizes itself.
It always has, and it always will.
Why?
why me?

Sabrina (1954)

2011-11-24T16:29:00.001+11:00

A woman happily in love, she burns the souffle. A woman unhappily in love, she forgets to turn on the oven.
his past love: no man walks alone from choice…

Father: He’s still David Larrabee, and you’re still the chauffeur’s daughter. And you’re still reaching for the moon!
Sabrina: No father… the moon is reaching for me.

A bit of a bore, perhaps mom is right about it being no better than the Sabrina starred by Harrison Ford. Sabrina 1954 is a classic black and white movie. Her dress are so beautiful. I love how they bring out her sharp yet soft silhouette. She’s skinny, but she’s got curves too. I suppose petticoats help to accentuate those hips. How jealous. And those eyebrows. So prominently dark and thick. The 50s eyebrows are into that sort of thing – dark and thick. Then into the 60s, that when’s Breakfast at Tiffany’s came out, her eyebrows were not as dark and black. It’s still thick, but not as dark as it was in the 50s. She’s so beautiful.

I’ve always dreamt about living in an apartment alone, in Paris, with a kitty kat. That’s what she did in Breakfast at Tiffany’s, although she was in New York. In Sabrina, she went to Paris for 2 years, alone and spoke and learnt fluent French. Oh, that’s what I want – to live in Paris in a beautiful apartment. I’ve also always wanted to live in a 7 bedroom mansion when I get married (lol!). Well, Sabrina lived in way more than 7 bedroom mansion as the rich family’s chauffeur's daughter. sigh… I never watched Audrey Hepburn’s movies before these holidays. *daydreams* Need to live in Paris. Need to have a kitty kat. Want to live in a 7 bedroom mansion, with a Maserati. I’m reaching for the moon.

Men who wear suits to work everyday..
and top it off with the occasional bowtie… <3

Cinderella 2

2011-11-24T02:32:00.001+11:00

Cinderella 2 is all about the characters falling in love. It’s so cute, especially the love between Lucifer the step-sisters’ cat and PomPom the cat living in the castle. It’s so cute and FLUFFY!!! Soo chubby. ughhhh, ultimate cuteness. I want a cat. I want, I want, I want. I love how Lucifer needed the mice to help him impress PomPom. When presented to PomPom, she was all pompous and took her time to estimate how much effort he put into woo-ing. It’s so cute, seeing a smirk across her face, but I know, deep down, she was in loveeeeeee. <3

Ah Disney, you’ve done it again. :)

I think I love pink again

2011-11-24T00:43:00.001+11:00

So my mom bought me the coolest jeans ever.
That’s worthy of a blog post. :)
Loving those pink skinnies!
and my mom, obviously.

Also, Bryan came over to snap a few portraits/photo. It was a hilarious, at times, experience. I must admit, the whole posing thing is a bit awkward as this is my first time. You know what they say.. with more practice, it’ll be second nature. That’s probably how everyone does it. Now to demand that my brother snap a few photos of me… lol.

Breakfast at Tiffany’s make-up =)

2011-11-21T16:13:00.002+11:00

Breakfast at Tiffany’s

2011-11-21T15:44:00.001+11:00

I’m craaaazy about Tiffanys!

You could always tell what kind of a person a man really thinks of you are by the earrings he gives you.

About the 9th richest man in America under 50: I thought he was a rat, but he was a super rat… aaallll along. … that’s why he decided to marry the queen of the pig people!

Learning Portuguese: i believe you are in league with the butcher!

Holly, starred by Audrey Hepburn, is such a little girl with big dreams. She talks like a little girl, dreams like a little girl, and when she’s drunk, she’s all of the above. A bit like me I suppose. She dreams of marrying someone rich and wealthy. She lives in an apartment by herself with her kitty kat. Above all, she’s crazy about Tiffany’s. I can’t believe what a cute yet graceful child she is. Anyone would so easily fall for her! If I were as beautiful and graceful as she is, I could probably get away with acting like a child. xD
Note to self: I am on a hunt for those sleeping mask!

Scenes which I LOVEEEE. I know it’s all about her (isn’t it always?), but now for the him… I must say, he’s quite cute! He’s got a wardrobe of my dream husband. Gel-ed hair of my dream lover. He is a romantic! I love how he dresses and carries himself. He is a very reliable and thoughtful man. So in this movie.. Audrey Hepburn meets her new neighbour. After about ONE day (max), she crawled into his room because men were always chasing her… and slept with him. Just plain innocent sleeping because she couldn’t stay in her apartment – obviously. But I must say, she looks very cosy when cuddled up to her new friend. Very quick ey? she smokes and drinks. Perhaps it was a classy thing, back during her time. Now a days, girls would be viewed as trashy if we smoke and drink.

But then again, if we carried ourselves like Audrey Hepburn do, then maybe we could get away with it. With such grace and tasteful manners, she' can get away with anything! Breakfast at Tiffany’s if full of Hollywood scenes. That typical Hollywood look before the kiss, and of course, the Hollywood kiss. Oh how I loveee Audrey!

I love how men loosen their ties. Sooo cute and sexy. ;) And that hair.. whoah! sexy! :)

Friday with friends

2011-11-20T22:34:00.001+11:00

It’s been a while since the close friends got together and have a relaxed chat. Josh, Tom, Toban, Rohan and I went to the city on Friday night, after having dinner in res (Tom cooked). I haven’t seen Tom in AGES. He was always studying and studying and just… not there. I suppose he’s gotta do what he’s gotta do. Excusable for a med kid. Anyway, it took up 1 hour 30 minutes to get to Clayton station. I know right. We kept missing our bus rides. Should only take us 15 minutes to get to Clayton.

Anyway, once in the city, we headed Mlebourne Central’s direction. Walked pass the State Library and I just had to snap a few photos. It was beautiful. We turned around and saw this pretty lounge/bar on the second floor with a big balcony. It looked cosy and sounded loud, so why not. Turns out, it was the best Asian Lounge we’ve been to - yet. We absolutely loved that place and that red couch. So cosy and comfortable. The boys loved it so much that they declared it their default city bar/lounge. Asian pride! :)

After, the place closed (a bit early =( ) and we went to that Lion Hotel. I have no idea why European bars call themselves “hotel” when it’s a bar. Strange. There, Toban and Tom were amused by their pint glasses – and the former snuck one out… in my bag. shame… All in all, it was a good catch-up session. Particularly with Tom, since he sat next to me and we just talked about Malaysia, Med, Holiday plans and future plans. It was good to finally see Tom again. He was always the one studying in his room, away with all the med kids, or in the study room. But now that exam’s are over, we’re all good again. :) yay!

Audrey Hepburn movie marathon

2011-11-20T21:54:00.001+11:00

Yes, I am a big fan of Coco Chanel and also Audrey Hepburn. Now that I’m officially on holidays, I’m going to watch as many movies by Audrey Hepburn as I can. As the download is running, I will let you know what’s on my mind. I’ve seen War and Peace once. I was so close to falling asleep. I admit, it’s not action packed or your usual heart gripping romantic movie… but it was, nevertheless, different. There was romance. A romance that cannot be compared to today’s age. There was no music in the background – not all the time. But her acting is just beautiful. She is the girliest girl I’ve seen. So natural. So elegant, graceful, and sweet natured. My goodness. No one comes close to Hepburn. I am in love with her. <3

sigh.. can’t wait to for the download to finish.

What’s better than 5 star hotels? A Hermes tent.

2011-11-14T22:09:00.001+11:00

You are everything to me. Everything.

2011-11-12T02:41:00.001+11:00

Imagine being able to see everything that he goes through.
For us.

Favouritism

2011-11-10T02:50:00.001+11:00

I used to feel like I’m second best all the time. It’s tiring and very hurtful, and I was young and sensitive. And all the more impact it had on my growing up. So when I left, it kinda hurt knowing I will be the last to know everything but…

Things are looking so good now. I feel more connected than usual. I receive WAYYYYYYYYYYYYY more texts than usual. It’s amazing, this feeling, to be on the same par. I love this whole communicating thing. Thank you whatsapp and Apple, for the convenience.

Man, a child deprived of so many things. I wonder a lot of times, what I would be like if life was perfect for me. Okay, I need to stop now. Getting a bit too emotional. It’s almost 3am. May or may not have finish limb development.

Oh thank you God, for perfecting me while I was a developing embryo. Thank you for the normal functioning of my Apical Ectodermal Ridge when I was about 4 weeks old. Without it, I would have no limbs right now. Thank you also for my paraxial mesoderm, for initiating limb development. It’s amazing how Tbx4, Tbx5, FGF10, and FGF8 all interact together, at different levels and time and space. Last but not least, thanks for making sure that my Zone of Polarising Activity at the posterior part of my then developing limb was secreting the correct amount of Shh signalling factors – and at the right time and space. Oh God, the probability of ANY ONE of the events gone wrong is so high. So many events. Soooooo many interactions. It only requires one to be defected to make it all bizarre.

Oh God, you are amazing. How did you think such clever things? You’d have to tell me when we meet, okay? Seriously, I NEED TO KNOW. :):):):)

Love you all sooooo much.
Drunk from so much amazingness.

Life may not be perfect, but at least He created me according to His plans. :):):):):) Just amazing! yeowza!

Your scenario

2011-11-10T02:30:00.001+11:00

Let's say… a man is tried for a crime he commits in court. The judge, who is an old friend, tries him and finds him guilty. The fine is 100 000 pounds. The man cannot pay this as he has no money. The judge gives the sentence but then he removes his cloak and wig and comes down the stand. He writes out a cheque and gives it to the man, his old friend. He pays for the debt instead.
There are three possible responses to this.

1. The man will be overjoyed, thankful and will receive the cheque.
2. The man is afraid that no other opportunity to get out will come back, so he's not going to risk, he takes the cheque.
3. The man rejects the cheque, demands a retrial because he can't believe that he's guilty. Or his pride prevents him from accepting the cheque.

An extract from Zoe’s blog which summarises perfectly of how mankind reacts when a loving God writes off our debt and giveth free salvation. 3 types of reactions.. and you are in..,?

I haven’t told them.

2011-11-10T02:18:00.001+11:00

I haven’t had yet had the guts to tell my grandparents I love them.
It’s easy to say it to your friends and 1st degree relatives (sometimes), but when it comes to grandparents, I don’t know what stops me.
Maybe it’s the whole Asian “never express your feelings” thing.

This issue has been at the back of my mind for a while now.
Been thinking of ways when I can slip in those 3 words, you know, just casually.
Back in the day when my prayers used to be 1/3 about my grandparents. :)

This trip back.
I must say it, somehow.

Now do I say it in Chinese or English?

bugger.

Strange things about me/people

2011-11-08T21:10:00.001+11:00

I was just thinking the other day about how weird things are, and then I found myself listing them… These include how weird I am/how things in general are/people in general.

1. Blonde asians with contact lenses that make their eyes big, black, and googly and sometimes coloured. oh gwad.

Regardless of little blonde hair you have, it’s still blonde. I was just strolling around the city before exams started and saw, with my own eyes, the massive number of blonde asians. okay, not a lot, but that’s still a lot. Personally, I think stripping your hair of its natural pigments is killing your hair. Hence, the disgusting dry + split ends + blonde in general look. *shivers*

One of my Australian friends asked me at the start of 1st year uni (assuming he’s never seen so many asians before), if it’s “okay” for asians to have blondes. I said no. And he asked if asians have anything for blondes. I said, maybe some people want to be blonde. And what he said next kinda shocked me. Not only did he thinks it’s not okay, he thinks it just plain hideous. TROLOLOL. I don’t know what to say. Grow it out and cut it off? Black is exotic.

2. I absolutely HATE brown LV bags. Those monograms. YEURGH.

Am I NOT normal?! Who can say no to Louis Vuitton? Seriously, who but me? :O Bazinga. The other ones are okay, just not the brown ones.

3. Men with short shorts.

Girls with short shorts are sexy. Men with short shorts, please, put more clothes on – regardless of how hot the weather is. The hair, and the muscles just don’t fit with the short shorts look. The only way anyone (not anyone, clearly) can pull of short shorts is being female and having shaved legs. Actually, the only exception to this are boxer shorts. :) Smexy!

4. Asians are almost hairless.

In a good way! We don’t have to shave right? But it’s weird at the same time. It WAS winter and I needed some fur on me to keep warm. Lol. But in all seriousness, it’s weird that we’re hairless but it’s such a blessing at the same time.

5. Coolest race ever? Asians.

I find that asians love cameras and posing in front of camera. Helloooo, we have a natural talent. ;) Okay, not me, but just look at any asian’s facebook page. Yeowza. And Asians are attracted to cute things like Hello Kitty and fluffy bunnies. AH MA GAD SO CUTE!!!! And Asian males know how to treat their girlfriends like princesses.

Most Westerners, imo, are too cool for anything cute. And any gestures that show that they treat their princesses like queens and being labelled “whipped”. My boy is not whipped, he is nice. :P However, having said these… Westerners are much more open-minded in general.

Asians are the coolest people ever. Seriously. I need to find an Asian boyfriend to buy me Chanel. HAHAHA. ;)

6. CAUCASIANS INVENTED THE PEACE SIGN?!?! WHAT?!?!?!?!?

Yes, it is true. That Winston Churchill (if I remember correctly) was the one who went *peace!! v ^^* v * when the war ended with a victory. Okay, I got this off youtube. BUT WHAT!?!?

HA! From now, I will use this against all my Australians friends who bag me out for being Asian ching chong ching chong. :P Nah, they’re cool kids. But I will have a good counter attack set up now. hohoho~

7. When it comes to meeting someone new… if it’s an Asian, he/she will be hyper and the conversation will flow as though you’ve already known them for long. If he/she is a caucasian… it’s all diplomatic.

True story.

8. Time changes when it comes to discipline and toys.

When I was young, I had to bargain for good results for sheets of stickers. We can’t just walk in and be like “it’s only RM8, pleaseeee”. We’d be bitch slapped. Presents for birthday and christmas are only ones which are cool big and awesome. And I truly believed in Santa. My biggest most expensive christmas present ever was a RM42 set of Fabre Castle colour pencils. Okay, that’s the only I remembered because I wanted it SO FREAKING MUCH with all my freaking tiny heart. And back then, it was all about good results. You can eat less food, but your results can’t drop.

Now a days…. *sigh* children are demanding hundreds of dollars worth of toys. DOLLARS okay, not Ringgit. Children now a days are getting fatter, lazier, more technology inclined, and more demanding. And they don’t appreciate the toys you buy for me. Now if a little boy spend SIX THOUSAND dollar on iTunes, he gets away with it. No scratch. If my brother or I were to do that, we would be sold as slaves or beaten till we rot to the very least. Where is the bitch slap and the cane and the rod and belting?

Unfair.

9. It’s weird how emotional Asians are and how… much emotions we invest into things.

Okay, I’m talking about me now. I loveeeeee love loveeeeeeeee Hello Kitty. I have emotions for me. I have emotions for my things. It’s weird. I would cry if any of my things break. Okay, moving beyond materialistic things…

Marriage. The asian tradition is that the couple will bow/kaotao to all their relatives and serve tea – in exchange for gold or money (SCOREEEE). It’s one of the most beautiful tradition ever. What filial piety. And not only that, the whole yamseng with everyone who attends your wedding. Just goes to show that the wedding day is also about the guests. Not just the whole thing about “being King and Queen for a day”. Caucasian weddings are not as… erm… i don’t knwo the word for it. They don’t really involve a whole lot of people in their wedding. They are not as… not as eventful or emotional when it comes to paying respect to all your elderly and relatives. With Asians, we mean it with all our heart. At least I would. When I saw my vow, I would most probably start crying my heart out. I would most probably shed a tear when he says “I do”. Or that tradition where you can’t let the groom in until he’s promised he BIG list of things to his future wife, with 20+ people as witnesses. It’s so cute. The fun, the teasing of the groom. So cute. And I bet, emotional for the bride AND groom. This whole emotional things, it’s amazing. And I think a couple is truly ready to get married when both parties will invest just as much emotions and heart into the traditional wedding.

Moving back to materialistic things. Cute fluffy bunnies, or baby birds. anything cute would move our hearts. Caucasians? “Kim, it’s just a baby bird.”. *tears* Unbelievable. :(

10. South Park is getting weirder and weirder and weirder…

Sometimes SP is just disgusting. I had to skip a lot of episodes to get to where I am. Urgh. unbelievable. It’s weird right? It’s not only me right? :)

Evolution and creation, in my eyes

2011-10-26T01:08:00.001+11:00

I have been thinking about evolution and creation since I first heard about Charles Darwin. I’m not a denialist. There is proof that evolution could have occurred, but there is also proof that God is behind all these. I knew, somewhere inside, that God had something planned; that mankind is missing something. I kind of had an epiphany tonight.

The bible does not tell us everything single thing. It only tells us of important bits and relevant bits – just like Doctor Who. We don’t watch Doctor Who’s whole travelling journey. We don’t watch the everyday life of Blair Waldorf in Gossip Girl. We just watch the important and exciting bits. This is the one thing you have to understand about the bible. It tells us of the basic, important and key things which we need to know.

2 Peter 3:8 - But, beloved, do not forget this one thing, that with the Lord one day is as a thousand years, and a thousand years as one day.

This verse tells us that a day in heaven is LIKE a thousand years on earth. This is not equal. This is a mere approximate. It could mean 1000 years on earth, or 10, 000 years, or 100, 000 or even 1 million. Jesus did not tell us exactly what the ratio was, but he did give us an idea that time in heaven is not short like earth’s.

God created the EVERYTHING in 7 days. Who ever said it was 7 Earth days? It could be 7 heaven days. which means it could technically, take God up till 200, 000 years ago to create the modern human. In the bible, we know that God created creatures living in the sea first and then slowly to creatures in the air and then slowly to land animals and then finally humans.

This evolutionary tree which all the great minds in science, agrees that fishes came first. then we have birds coming off as a branch, then land animal as another branch, then finally, modern humans as a subset. The order was right, but the timing wasn’t right. But like I said, He never said it was 7 earth days. It would make more sense if it were 7 heaven days. This is strictly my opinion.

if God gave us everything that He did into a book, down to the fine details, it would take us 1 billion years or more to finish reading the bible. Life would be meaningless. There wouldn’t be Science or Medicine, or Law, or Arts. We wouldn’t have to put in so much effort into finding out where we come from. We wouldn’t ever acknowledge how amazingly well made we are. So amazing that our heart, when harvested from a body, could still continue beating even without blood or other nervous connections.

Anyway, all that I have said is not the answer. This is just my way of looking at science with religion, because to me, they go perfectly with each other – if you look hard enough. IF you know where to dig in the bible. God will give you clues about the things which you have been pondering about.

So… you never know how long 7 heaven days is. It might just correlate with what scientists have found. :) I’d like to think that God created the world in 7 heaven days. He could create it in 7 earth days. But why would He? We’re already struggling to understand what God meant in the bible. Sometimes, it pains to me to think that people can be so… blind.

If scientists/researchers/evolutionists can spend years of studying evolution and how all species in the world are related to each other,and then draw up a correct evolutionary tree… why can’t the same smart people read the first passage of the bible and connect the dots for themselves? The same people who connect the dots between reptiles and birds, are the same people who cannot connect the dots between literal meaning in the bible and metaphoric meaning in the bible.

Mankind, you found your missing links between reptiles and birds & homo erectus and homo sapiens. But you haven’t found the missing links in the bible yet. That is the timeline in which God created the world, and the the ratio of days in heaven to days on earth.

Do I make sense?

disclaimer: I’m just a uni student with a very curious mind – a mind which feels that it needs to solve the world’s problems.

Update: I pondered about this again today and realise that it is more likely to be 7 earth days. :) Why? Because God personally breathed life into man and took one of Adam’s ribs to make a woman. :) It is still creation after all. It doesn’t matter if there is no “proof” of this. All it matters is that we have faith. :) God is THAT awesome.

Also, you may wondering about why we have so many different homos. Like homo erectus, homo blablabla, i can’t remember all of them. But… I was thinking that they all look a like because they all have the same environment factors acting upon them and similar selective pressure and etc etc. Makes sense to me. :)

Creation it is! :)

A day on the green ‘11

2011-10-24T00:27:00.001+11:00

What: A Day on the Green
When: 20th October 2011
Where: somewhere just outside the vicinity of Monash Clayton

Drunk boys.
Drunk girls.
Couch.
Portable pool.
traffic cone.
People making mud angels.
Girls dragging girls into the p. pool.
Boys carrying girls into the p. pool.
Boys throwing boys into the p. pool.
People passing out the couch.
Half naked boys.
Half naked girls.
Screaming drunks.
Alcohol. booze. beer. and more beer.

I didn’t really have fun this time round. Wasn’t into drinking and all that crazyness. Went home in the end to continue watching “Fugitive Plan B”. Such a good Korean drama. Hottest halfie. *melts*
Weird event. What’s so green about it?

Go study if you “haven’t heard of” any of the terms.

2011-10-24T00:08:00.001+11:00

Today as I was trying soooo hard (but failed) to concentrate on studying. I realised that if I group all the genetic terms I learnt up till say…. lecture 15.. THEY ALL RHYME!!!!! WHAT?!?!?! – to a certain extent.

“aneuploidy, monoploidy, triploidy, polyploidy, mixoploidy, haploid, diploid, genotype, phenotype, monosomy, trisomy, haploinsufficiency, dominant negative, hypomorphism, mosacism, epistasis, bilateral gynandromorph, bivalent, quadrivalent, leptotene, zygotene, pachytene, diplotene, diakinesis”

phew. And just like that, that’s a two year arts degree. BAHAHAHAH. okay, i’m joking. No hard feelings.

genetics is WEIRD. I find myself thinking thrice when a genetics term comes across my head. They all rhyme. What do you want me to do? make a poem out of it? BAHAHA. nerd. ==

I’m not sure what I want to be. I like sewing. I LOVE fashion. I like scrapbooking. But thanks to Science, I have no time for Arts. ARGHHHHHHH. I don’t know. I really can’t wait for exams to be over. I want to sew already! I can’t wait to make a dress. I can’t wait to dress up every day. I can’t wait to do something FUN and DIFFERENT.

He’s calling again.

2011-10-17T16:46:00.001+11:00

Since that day, whatever happened in the bus, I’ve been singing two songs all the time. Sometimes it’s juts cos it’s stuck in my head, and sometime it’s cause I love it. Firstly the “forever” by Hillsong, and secondly, the “I give you my heart" also by Hillsong.

Last weekend, I really wanted to go to church and just hear His words and be in His presence again. So I invited mom and the children to Planetshakers. It was all good, and we got there a liiiiittle late + there was slight rain. Got there, and the praise and worship was already starting. Have no idea what the first song was, but when the second song played, i nearly died on the spot. There are probably a million Christian songs out there but what are the chances of planetshakers playing one of the songs which have been speaking to me? 100% apparently.

I literally sang my heart out, and gave my heart out. I haven’t felt so uplifted for so long, it feels good and I felt so light. Like the burden of sin got tsunamied by His grace, and then kaphoosh, it’s all gone. Lightest I ever felt.

Definitely going back to church again. Definitely going to Urban Life in Caulfield.
Feels sooooooo good to be truly myself again.
And of course, I had the best date the night before – dinner at Ti amo along Lygon street followed by a walk in the city. <3

How amazing is He when you cry out for help?
From now, it’ll almost be impossible for me to me bitchy or :(

hopefully. :)

I could go on and on, but all I need is to be SUPER busy

2011-10-14T18:11:00.001+11:00

I need to save up for an amazing 21st, for that not-going-to-happen-yet trip to Paris, for a classic mini cooper, for an apartment in Paris, a Maserati Gran Turismo, a 7 bedroom home, a holiday house in Milan,….

calm down Kim.

Supporting myself is quite hard.
I don’t know how people can just swipe their parent’s credit card.
When I do, I have to carry around this tremendous guilt with me.
Argh.
No, I knew this would happen!!
This whole “I will feel guilty using my parent’s money”.
Too early. too early. I’m only 20.
why so soooooon? :(

I need a job during the summer holidays.
Oh please let me work in a hospital/lab, please please pleaseeeeeeeeeeeeee
*prays*

In the shuttle bus, crying at 9.27am

2011-10-11T00:04:00.001+11:00

I grew up not knowing a lot about Christianity. I knew how to pray, how to clasp my hands together, how to say the hail Marys and all that. I knew. But I didn’t understand. I mean, I understood, but it didn’t click. I grew up, thinking that Christianity is a religion. But as I grew up, I met the most important people in my life. For a start, I met Lilian my neighbour. Then I met Zoe. Before I knew what Jesus had planned, I was struck by His eternal love. I was in heaven. I was so in love. From then on, Christianity is no longer a religion, it’s a relationship with Jesus.

I used to pray every night telling him every SINGLE thing that has happened. That was back in form 2. I used to sing every night. I can’t sleep if I didn’t do both. I really really wanted to go to church and talk about Him ALL THE TIME. My parents must’ve thought I was nuts. But that was me. I was deeply in love. I never felt a love so big.

When I had a good look at myself today, I no longer recognise myself. I have fallen in love with someone else. Worshipping something else. My priority is all whacked up. What happened to God? I’ll tell you what happened.

I lost myself. I met a boy… and fell in love – hard. Head over hills. Ever since falling in love, I’ve back-stepped a million steps. I blocked the Holy Spirit from talking to me, thinking I knew what’s best for myself. I stopped listening, both unconsciously and consciously. I only listened to what I wanted to hear. I stop listening and thinking when the issues came up. The burden of sin was tremendous but I chose to put it behind me, and tried my best to be happy. I was happy, I am happy. But when I truly asked myself, I’m not. I’ve locked my old self inside because some part of me knew that she won’t be loved for who she is.

3 years has passed now. And still, I wasn’t listening. I didn’t want anyone telling me that I’m unhappy deep on the inside. I can’t talk about Jesus when I want to. I can’t do what I really really wanted and believed in. What I believe in is trampled by a lot of people around me. Friends roll their eyes at the mention of Christianity or Jesus and boyfriend who thinks that it’s the barrier between us.

At 9.27am this morning, I was caught off guard by the Holy Spirit. It was a gentle whisper, but a thunderous one. It shook me, and all I could think at that time was to download a song off iTunes. So I did. It costed $1.57, I think, but I went ahead. I wasn’t thinking, I NEEDED it – RIGHT NOW. I can’t explain the urge.

When the song finally played, my heart broke right down the middle, and all sorrow and unhappiness crept out. I was in tears. I was struggling to keep calm and cool in the shuttle bus to Clayton. I couldn’t believe what I heard. ‘Forever’ by Hillsong was playing and I thought about the time when I sang the song with such happiness. But there I was, 3 years later, listening to the same song… but feeling on the other extreme end.

I needed the Holy Spirit right then and there, and It came and overwhelmed me on the bus. On the shuttle bus! Then the inevitable questions came again. The answers to which I fear. The ones I’d never want to come to terms with.

Do I want to be loved this way?

won’t it be nice if I were Paris?

2011-10-04T20:15:00.001+11:00

Dear Paris,

I promise you, we are going to meet one day. And on that one day, I am going to fall in love with you. I just know it. I’m coming as soon as I can. Please wait. :)

Love,
Kim

This was what I was trying to explain to him the other day.

2011-10-04T20:11:00.001+11:00

so say sorry when you make your one upset, even though it's not your fault. :)

From my dad.

2011-10-04T20:09:00.004+11:00

10 ways to romance me.

2011-09-30T02:22:00.001+10:00

Everywhere I look, I see romance.

but when I searched for it, I have none.

You say you love me, but words mean nothing without the romance.

It's easy as ABC; let me teach you.
1. when you see a flower or a daisy on your way to see her, pick it. it doesn't matter how insignificant the flower is, it is the thought that counts.
2. when you part your way, turn back to have a last look at her, because she'll be watching your back as your walk away.

3. before she walks through a door, be the one who leads the way. I'll spell it out for you: open the door for her.

4. hold her hand when walking with her. then she'll know that you're not ashamed of her.

5. when it's time for goodnight, be the last one on the street. watch her walk through her door before driving away.

6. star gaze with her.... because you know how nature takes her breath away. Let God set the perfect setting while you star in this romantic scene. *pun not intended*

7. noticed how she compliments other couples and everything else? take the hint. be the perfect couple.

8. we prefer everything to be "sugared, spiced and everything nice-d".

9. when it's her birthday. magic (should) happens. Have a handpicked flower ready by her bedside, in a vase. be the first thing she sees when she wakes up. Brush her hair to the side and greet your little princess. Plant a kiss before showing up with breakfast in bed. . And above all else, put an arm around her while you chatter away about how exciting the day is going to be - assuming you planned it all out, prince charming.

10. time to have a ritual of watching a classic with her. anything by Audrey Hepburn will not go wrong. And maybe, just maybe, you could learn a thing or two from her idol.

Prince charming is no longer "the catch".

A girl ultimately wants and needs someone who woos them everyday, even until they 70 years of age.

someone who goes all out to show their love.

because in the unbelieving world full of lies, hate and evil... we still want to believe in someone.

Love is the sunscreen.

Romance is the oxybenzone*.

*Oxybenzone is the active ingredient in sunscreens.

for more ways go to http://socyberty.com/relationships/20-ways-to-romance-your-special-someone/

Science and Faith

2011-09-19T19:05:00.002+10:00

Tried to break love to a science
In an act of pure defiance
I broke her heart.
As i pulled apart her theories
As i watched her growing weary
I pulled her apart
Having heavy conversations
About the furthest constellations of our souls.
We're just trying to find some meaning
In the things that we believe in
But we got some ways to go.
Of all of the things that she's ever said
She goes and says something that just knocks me dead.

You won't find faith or hope down a telescope
You won't find heart and soul in the stars
You can break everything down to chemicals
But you can't explain a love like ours.

Ooohhhh
It's the way we feel, yeah this is real
Ooohhhh
It's the way we feel, yeah this is real

I tried pushing evolution
As the obvious conclusion of the start.
But it was for my own amusement
Saying love was an illusion of a hopeless heart.
Of all of the things that she's ever said
She goes and says something that knocks me dead.

You won't find faith or hope down a telescope
You won't find heart and soul in the stars
You can break everything down to chemicals
But you can't explain a love like ours.

Ooohhhh
It's the way we feel, yeah this is real.
Ooohhhh
It's the way we feel, yeah this is real.

Of all of the things that she's ever said
She goes and says something that just knocks me dead

You won't find faith or hope down a telescope
You won't find heart and soul in the stars
You can break everything down to chemicals
But you can't explain a love like ours.

Ooohhhh
It's the way we feel, yeah this is real
Ooohhhh
It's the way we feel, yeah this is real

A reminder

2011-09-18T20:46:00.002+10:00

I forgive, but I don't forget.

Second chances are hard to come by

2011-09-18T02:25:00.000+10:00

So, I've been whatsapping Samantha Aw from Seattle way more than usual. I like the change. :) So far, she's doing REALLY well in college, blending in smoothly. Unlike me. I took so much longer to blend in, and up till now, I haven't really blended in. If you know what I meant.

Last night, around the same time, I was panicking with my overloaded work to do this week. I'm supposed to read 5 journal articles, summarise them, and write an annotated bibliography. And I'm supposed to study 6 major topics for my midsem. All these by Sunday night. Well, tonight is Saturday night, and I've done exactly half of all those. Amazing. All that, in 24 hours. Of course, I burnt some midnight oil. I never believe in burning the midnight oil. But this time, I had to do it. Absolutely no choice. And to my amazement, one day... is actually A LONG time when you devote yourself to studying.

Also, I've been thinking about things since last night when tongues started slashing at each other on facebook chat. I've told myself months ago when it all unhappiness apparently ended, that this would be my last try, that if the cycle repeats itself again I will pull the handbrake and walk out. But then I didn't. I told myself "...one more. Just one more chance." But what if that was God's calling for me to stop since I did actually promise Him that I would let go when the time comes? So I asked God, what do you want me to do?

No, I was not pissed. I wanted something OBVIOUS and had a BANG in my head so I know it was Him. It didn't take God long to answer me. When I woke up in the morning, I pondered about forgiveness and second chances while lying on me bed. Why should I give someone second chances when they repeatedly fall and disappoint me, and break my heart again and again and again and.... again and again... why should I be with someone who has the potential to break my heart?

That was when my heart and mind went BANG.

Matthew 18:21

Then Peter came to Jesus and asked, "Lord, how many times shall I forgive my brother when he sins against me? Up to seven times?"

Matthew 18:22

Jesus answered, "I tell you, not seven times, but seventy-seven times."

Matthew 6:14-15

For if you forgive other people when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive other their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins.

I just finish reading the book of Matthew not long ago, so I'm glad my mind was able to retract the memory of what I read and the moral of the story at times of need.

So I will forgive you, almost countlessly, under God's command. You're so lucky to have Him on your side at times when you screw up. Now I just have to pray for courage and strength to handle all these issues. The pain of being human...

for myself

2011-09-12T00:19:00.000+10:00

Okay, Kim. I knew you would somehow visit your own blog. Desperate to procrastinate hah? This is what you have to do:

1. FINISH genetics report

2. WRITE SCI2010 review article

3. wardrobe cull

4. change bedsheets

5. listen to 20 hours worth of missed lecture. fckkkkk

You did that to yourself by sleeping in. SIGH. life as a uni student... this time I really got myself into trouble.

Calling all my ladies!!

2011-09-11T18:21:00.000+10:00

I'm having an earring collection cull, so check it out!

they are all Brand New WITH Tags!!

gogogo!!!

http://cgi.ebay.com.au/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&item=250890495445#ht_500wt_1156

Bummers

2011-09-10T20:30:00.001+10:00

So, I wasn’t at all happy this week. So much happened that was not in favour of me. Firstly, I got my neuro midsem results back and I only got 65.5%. That is VERY bad. quite possibly the worst result in uni so far. Shit. How can I get a freaking C? UGH. MUST. PICK. UP. PACE. Wasn’t at all happy. I deserved it considering the fact that I did not maintain my consistent hardcore studying everynight. I slacked this sem. Bad. Must start sooooon. soon.

and, I got my genetics report back. I finished it rather early and just left it aside. Disappointed. I got so many unintentional wrongs. I hate it when the demonstrator didn’t see your answer somewhere in your report and assumed you didn’t do it. bugger. I just waved it aside cos I still got a HD for the report in the end. barely a HD. And there is this ONE question where my answer is kind of right, but I got it wrong because I didn’t include a key word – rare. Stupid. Should’ve mentioned that the protective genotype is RARE. Roo got full marks for the question eventhough I was the one who told her that “it is not representative of the population” and that. But she was smart enough to put in “rare”. UGHHHH. hate hate hateeeee. I must not be so careless anymore.

Can whine as much as I can, but I find it so much easier than to actually start hardcore studying again. :( must. invest. my. time. ugh. crap. bullcrap.

And also… I was supposed to be in a fashion show right now, but my cousin bailed on me at the very last minute. And I refuse to be alone in the city at night. And the boyfriend is busy with his own family cleaning out his grandpa’s home. sigh.

bummers.

to that anonmous stranger

2011-09-07T23:26:00.000+10:00

so... i used to have a diary to rant all i want, to get all the feelings out without hurting anyone. but then that got read, and i got into big trouble.
and then i have multiple blogs which then have the same fate. which mean i can no longer have a space to just have a mental vomit.
then i had facebook but then that got even worse.

I found a new place to rant... to unleash all my fury when i am down at random times. my best friends. =D
sorry sam, zoe, josh and beth. looks like you guys have a heavier burden now. :):):)

readers please know that i rant randomly and it's due to its the random fluctuation, it is not representative of my whole life. If that is not obvious already, i suggest some high school mathematics - particularly the probability topic. that will do you good. and no you're wrong. my family IS fantastic. your brains on the other hand.. isn't really. i appreciate your thoughts, but i just don't think you're right. :P

This is for all the time you’ve put into us…

2011-08-30T23:37:00.001+10:00

This is for you and me; me and you.
Because in this relationship, no one comes first. Although I know you’ve always put me first.
This post is for the boy who is currently studying very very hard.
To be a CEO; To have a bright future;
With me.

ps: please shave everyday. See how clean shaven you always were?

Party Bus: 2 residences, 1 bus, 3 stops.

2011-08-07T02:30:00.001+10:00

HINT: POINT at the pictures with your mouse to get a bit from last night’s happenings.

What: Party Bus
Who: Normanby and Deakin residences
Where: European Bier Bar, Marquee, and Cocktail Lounge.

(Backstage Fever Dress, socks from Carribean Market, Chelsea Crew wedge boots)

For the win - Cadel Evans

2011-07-26T19:50:00.001+10:00

Tank-er than the Schlecks, Josh’s official hero, Winner of Le Tour de France and champion of them all… our very own Cadel Evans.
I am soooo proud of him, but I almost cried when Cadel smashed Andy at the time trial. But hey…
Aussie, Aussie, Aussie!!!

July is made for us, although there is an exception.. part 1

2011-07-26T19:13:00.001+10:00

It’s not everyday that we get to dress up a little and go to somewhere fancy for dinner. But it was mom’s birthday and we had a family dinner at a Chinese restaurant. Just the 6 of us sipping tea. :)

Back to uni, Semester 2.

2011-07-26T17:50:00.001+10:00

It was only the second day of uni and already raining. So I needed something slightly waterproof. AND I have an unavoidable clash in my timetable. My preferred lab has not been allocated to me… so instead of having a 3 day weekend, I now have a normal weekend, with Thursdays off. Not complaining, just pointing it out. Still way better than having 3 different things on the same time slot. The triple clash, which with the gracious help of the biomed allocate, have been reduced to just a clash.

I tried my best to attend both. I went to my one hour Neuro lecture, then straight after, I made my way to attend the second half of my SCI2010 lecture. And there, South 1, which is possibly the biggest lecture theatre was PACKED like sardines. So Elise and I went all the way back… sat on the floor, stretched our legs out and had our back against the wall. So comfortable. The last time I did that was with Beth listening to fellow staff from the Faculty of Medicine.

(mustard boyfriend jumper, Sparkle and Fade pleated skirt, fleece tights, Chelsea Crew Savoy Wedge Boot, Kipling bag)

Apparently there was a balloon man in the campus centre today. A fellow course mate got a dragon made for her. Amanda, on the other hand, got a butterfly bracelet, which I thought was cool. Yep, there it is.

(thrifted double gun flap parka, BYS “Kung Fu Blue” nail polish… which is really turquoise/teal)

It was 2pm when I headed home after feeling drowsy in uni. The sun came out of its hiding place after a few showers and drizzles. The cold wind was blowing and everything looked weary.

Tomorrow: sun will be out.

I want my future to be with You, you, you and youuuuuus

2011-07-22T23:34:00.001+10:00

Whatever happens, I always believe that it happens for a reason. Be it to teach us a lesson, turn our weaknesses into our strengths, or to reward us… God knows what to do. He is in control.

Maybe he killed the dinosaurs to make way for a better creation – us.
Maybe he made the stars to remind us of Him.

It’s not about physics or finding the answers to the origins of the universe. It’s about NOW and the future. It’s about sacrifice and labour of love. It’s about love and happiness.

It’s about Jesus.

I’m so madly in love with GPV; I think it’s a disease.

2011-07-21T13:36:00.001+10:00

ARGH. Scrolling down and typing these words is. so. difficult. I just want to stop and stare at every. single. one. of these gorgeous babies. Yes, I am already calling them MY babies. *sigh*

Gary Pepper Vintage is definitely by farrrrrr my favourite blogger and vintage online shop – NOT because she’s asian like me, geez people. The stuff may be a little pricey for a poor uni student aka me, but it’s... or will be well worth it. I mean, just look at them. I am currently on her web, hitting refresh every 30 seconds. Why? Because someone has reserved the Dark Purple Fur Cardigan in his/her cart. I am hoping, and praying that he/she changes her mind. I just hit refresh. And thank God it’s not sold yet. My heart is literally swimming in a pool of anxiety. ARGH. Must. have. that. cardigan.

I am mad. So much radness going on this season. It’s like a disease! *hits refresh again*

are you comfortable or rad?

2011-07-21T13:14:00.001+10:00

Sat down on my study table and with a gentle touch, my computer came to live. It was left just as it was – on my Etsy page. Clicked on something which caught my eye, and my, it’s so hard not to click “Add To Cart” when I saw these gorgeous vintages on PartyInTheValley. Vintage pieces are guaranteed to be one of a kind pieces and the extra radness is amazingggggggg. Bazzinga!!

RADNESS!!!! I am overwhelmed. I need those on me now!

UPDATE

I went to Camberwell market yesterday with the family but it was closed! I don’t exactly know why but we assumed it was because it is winter and no one wants to stand in the cold for a long period of time. But anyway, instead, we went to a nearby Salvos. It was bigger than normal Salvos, just slightly. And there, I found the an amazing blue jumper with black faux velvet details. It had some shine to it too. Not sequins definitely, but I had no idea what it was. Sooo rad. The only thing I find fault with it is that it’s very worn. It’s fluffiness isn’t consistent and had many loose stuff coming out of it. But it was so pretty. I had to let go. The only things we brought home from the Salvos are books. :)

cornering yourself in 4 beautifully wallpapered walls isn’t such a bad idea after all

2011-07-21T13:07:00.001+10:00

(imagine this duck egg Tatton on my wall! I’m soo excited!")

During the last holiday, the people at Laura Ashley finally called me on my wallpaper order. 4 months too late. Instead of saying giving it a pass because it was so long ago that I wanted it, I went over with mom to look at the wallpaper I order. It was drop dead gorgeous, personally. So we took it home and you can guess what my next project will be! Wallpapering the apartment. Not all of it, of course. We’ve decided to have one feature wall covered in this beautiful duck egg Tatton wallpaper. I hope 3 rolls is enough. I DID measure the wall dimensions and from there, the lady at Laura Ashley calculated how many rolls I needed. I hope she is right. After all, if she was wrong, I cannot go back and start my argument with “7 months ago…”. I’m kind of relying Josh’s general excellent skills in everything to wallpaper my wall. It will be good!

From lipbalm to lipgloss to lipstick.

2011-07-19T20:19:00.001+10:00

(hand me down top, Guerlain KissKiss in Fabulous Rouge)

I’ve been vain – again!- tonight and started playing with my lipsticks and taking some pictures on the webcam. I used the lipbalm first as a child (sometimes) and during Chinese New Years, my mom would insist that I put on some red lipstick (I looked cute, I admit). When I was a teen (first time using past tense before teen!), I used lipgloss all the time, and I still do. There’s something about long holidays. They give you enough time to self indulge in on something and when uni finally starts again, you’d have to painfully let go. Yesterday was a good day and it consisted of shopping in Ikea, where I got my scalloped shelf in the background for half price, putting together that little princess shelf, shifting my study table and bookshelf to accommodate for more space. So now, I am perfectly content with my room arrangements besides the fact that my picture frames are now out of any systematic order. As for tomorrow, I’m thinking of going to the Camberwell market. I am running out of printer ink and I heard from a dear friend that one of the stalls in Camberwell market is selling them cheap but good. Speaking of printer ink, I printed my next semester’s timetable and it was horrifying. I have 3 clashes in a day! *sigh*

ps: I’ve read somewhere that women these days have gotten so used to wearing lipgloss that they seem to have forgotten the art of applying lipstick. I must admit, applying lipstick is not easy. There is an art to it.. The art of applying lipstick. *being all reminiscent and nostalgic* Back in the day where women used to apply lipstick all the time… That’s it. I’m making it a tradition where I have to wear lipsticks during Chinese New Years. What am I getting myself into?

celebrating a 21st in a 21st century

2011-07-17T22:13:00.001+10:00

Up till yesteryear, I’ve always thought that my older brother’s, KC’s, birthday is on the 16th July. I probably got my ex-classmate’s birthday confused. Her birthday was always on the 16th, and my brother’s 17th. This year, I was in charge of baking a chocolate cake for him. ;) It was easy peasy japaneasy but it took one hour to bake in the oven. We had steak with mushroom sauce or spaghetti bolognaise, and Caesar salad for dinner.

The night consisted of the boys playing on the Xbox, children playing on the IPads, and… adults preparing food. HA! I’m an adult thank you very much. :P So it was a good night spent with family and close friends – for my brother.

my best friends better be awesome. lol.

2011-07-15T22:50:00.002+10:00

There is a Samantha, a lawyer, the perfect mom, and the one with all the boy problems.

Sam, Zoe, Jan and Beth are my best friends for life. They’ve been true to me for so long and I owe them a lot for all the comfort, advice, happiness and love that they have given me. Although we’re worlds apart, we try to keep in touch now and then. And although everything may seem difficult and as I said “worlds apart”, knowing that they’ll always be on your side always provide a tremendous moral support – emotionally.

The best thing about my best friends is that they KNOW me. Forget about favourite colours and favourite past times. I’m talking about, what’s deep inside. They know what I really want for the future. We share the same values and beliefs. We believe in the Lord and try to catch each other when one of us falls. If anyone of my best friend is a boy, i would so go for it. You know what I mean. There will be no doubt that we’ll make a perfect family. =)

Well, this blog post is to you girls (trying to reach out to some state in Aussie, Malaysia, UK and Korea here). I can’t wait to see you girls again. I can’t wait till we all grown up when and where tickets to UK/US/wherever would be like penny to us. I can’t wait to have incredible fashion sense with you guys, and you know... talk about men and boys. XD

Thank God I have you, you, you and you. I am so truly blessed to have you in my life. Thanks for yelling me at times, I do need to get my head straight sometimes; and picking up my EARLY morning calls and just listen to me cry on the phone. *sigh*

Best friends on earth, sisters in heaven. I love you so much. X

Every girl’s dream

2011-07-14T18:19:00.001+10:00

is that little blue box… <3

Classy and timeless. How can one say no?

In my dream, the impossible happened but when I woke up, my heart broke.

2011-07-13T00:29:00.001+10:00

I spent tonight…
dreaming that I’m out in the world – just you, me and God;
dreaming that I’m engaged to the one;
dreaming that I’d wear that white dress within the next 3 years;
dreaming about that fairy tale love story.

wishing that there’s no anger, sorrow, and unhappiness;
wishing that I have a ragdoll kitten… or a puppy equivalent;
wishing that I have all the dresses I want;
wishing about a healthier weight…

wanting to be with you.

Rally in Malaysia

2011-07-12T23:51:00.001+10:00

I’ve been disconnected from Malaysian politics for a long time now mainly because of the frustrations. Just recently, there was a rally held in Kuala Lumpur. The rally demands free and fair elections – and many are against Najib, the current prime minister. What I know about Najib is that he is freakiiiiiiiiiin’ wealthy thanks to all rakyat of Malaysia. His means of earning power and stay in power is highly fraudulent.

This BERSIH (clean in Malay) rally is labelled “illegal” by Najib. There were thousands and thousands of rakyat (people of Malaysia) seeking justice in this rally. They wore the colour yellow with pride. Yellow is the colour reserved ONLY for the Sultan and the royal family. As a democratic country, the rakyat should have the right to protest just as we all are in Australia. But this wasn’t so. Police forces were cruel and brutal to the people. 1, 700 arrests were made, tears gas were fired and it directly injured people (talk about aiming!), and TOXIC-laced water cannons were dispersed.

“Amnesty International described the campaign of suppression as the worst seen in this country for years. It also noted that Malaysia is currently a member of the United Nations Human Rights Council and suggested Kuala Lumpur should be setting an example for other countries to follow as opposed to baton charging and using tear gas to break-up a peaceful rally.” Radio Australia

the toxic-laced water I was talking about. The last person to be “released” by the police. Drenched in toxic-laced water. I respect. =’)Utmost right is the daughter of Mahathir, Marina Mohammad.
Slaking a tear gas bomb thingo. Brave as.

READ HERE. So the police forces told the UN that there were only 6000 rally-ers, but BERSIH organisers said there were 50 000 people, while the press said there were 10-15 000. Goes to show that police can’t estimate at all. Bohoo.

Well, this BERSIH rally thing is like the light at the end of the tunnel. Maybe there is hope. The rakyat is actually doing something about all this repression and depression and what not. I’m glad, so glad. :)

They made me a princess. :)

2011-07-12T21:21:00.001+10:00

A while ago (two trips ago), dad gave me two sets of supplementary card forms to complete. Having read what was required, I had to laugh. Instead of asking for my name, it says something along the lines of "name as to appear on card" in Bahasa AND English. Naturally, I thought there was a loophole in this request. Instead of being honest with my full name, I wrote "Princess Kimberly" on the first set of form. And in case my request was denied, I wrote my actual name on the second set.

Dad handed in the first form with Princess Kimberly to the lady and it was accepted. Weeks later, I waited for dad to tell me that my request was not possible. A little while longer, dad sent me an MMS. The card says “Princess Kimberley”. I HAD to laugh, I just had to.

They may get the joke, but they probably didn’t see/care about the loophole. And they even spelt my name wrongly. For shame!!!!

Moral of the story: Only some things can happen in Malaysia, and while you can, make full use of it – legally of course. Apologies your request to be a princess/whoever you want is denied because of me (hopefully they will soon discover this loophole!). :)

To the mountains!!!

2011-07-11T19:32:00.001+10:00

We went for a road trip. We’ve been to Mt. Dandenong before, but because I haven’t been there for a while, we drove there again. It is still the same. I love driving pass those beautiful houses on the hill, on the slope, the unique shops they have, the cafes. I love the suburb. The only difference is that the last time I was there, there was no Asians, but this time, they were everywhere. Infestation. After Mt. Dandenong, we proceeded to drive east. We passed by (just off the top of my head) Olinda, Monbulk, Launching Place, Healesville, Toolangi, and the infamous Donna Buang Road. I’m pretty sure it was at Donna Buang Road that I nearly lost control of my urethra.

Josh was driving at 80km/h through the on and off wet Donna Buang. It was a windy road. I have no doubt that boys would LOVE Donna Buang. But all was well as I got used to Josh’s driving – safe and confident driving. One event that freaked me out was when 3 cars hooned passed us, in the opposite direction. No doubt Josh wanted to do the same but permission was not granted. ==

I think you’re trying to tell me something

2011-07-11T15:36:00.001+10:00

This isn’t the first time, but one of the many.

The Parable of the Ten Virgins, The parable of the Bags of Gold, The Sheep and the Goats, The Destruction of the Temple and Signs of the End of Times… Maybe I’m just reading the book of Matthew, and this is what the book of Matthew is all about. I’m not sure, but what I know is that I am constantly being reminded about the existence of a higher power.

I’ve never stopped thinking about Jesus. I’ve always thought of Him in everything I do, even when I am sinning. I think about how I might be in hell if I was caught off guard. I think about how He might never ever forgive me for falling time after time, and taking his forgiveness for granted. I know that somewhere in the Bible (I’ve read it myself and spooked myself out), it speaks of even those with faith but who continues to sin, goes to hell. :( That’s me right there. And I lost count how many times I’ve read “… where there will be weeping and gnashing of teeth”. Is that me right there God? oh Lord. :’(

I’m not strong enough to say give up everything I have. I want to, I really do. If what I have, or who I love is not right by your eyes God, I give You permission to take it all. I will probably beg you to give it back to me, but rest assured, I am in my right mind right now, and I won’t be later on. :)

God, I love You more than anything else. I’m just disappointed in myself that I can’t give up attachments – not yet. Give me the strength to glorify Your name.

RUSH to your nearest store because it’s worth it

2011-07-06T02:46:00.001+10:00

Bought a copy of RUSH before my semester 1 exams even finished. Had a glance and liked what I saw in the contents. Now that I have time to flip through its colourful pages, I like it a lot. This is my second copy. The first one I had was a loooooong time ago. Probably last year. RUSH is sort of an on-trend magazine which you can flip through quickly and figure out what the new trend is. Here are the first few pages which was eye grabbing. Not literally.
I’m so glad that anything silky, teal or turquoise is in. I’ve been into silk for long time now, but just never wore it because I thought it hugs my body too much – as seen on my birthday post =S... Well, I AM too skinny. Never denied that. But nevertheless, I am proud to say I finally (just this year) own something with more sheen to it than polyester. Polyester is a cheap take of silk. It’ll pass. =)

At the end of last year, I went back to Malaysia and discovered beautiful clothes hanging in my wardrobe. My mom keeps her teenage clothes and so does her sister, you see. From time to time, I will receive nice surprises in my wardrobe when I go home. That is one of the best parts of going home. Sometimes, I go home and look at the pieces of clothes which I had thought was something I would never wear. But a year away has always changed my mind – only when it comes to my mom and her sister’s vintage clothes. Last year, among all the beauties hung in my wardrobe, a white cable cropped knit caught my eye. I immediately fell in love with it. Here is a picture of me wearing it in Malaysia. In my defence, it WAS a rather chilly night! Yikes at the picture quality.

I wear this combination A LOT, especially to uni. So easy to fall back into what’s familiar.

This yellow fluffy cropped jumper reminds me of the vintage yellow cable cropped Versace knit that I got from my mom’s sister. I don’t wear it often enough because it has a really high V neckline. So high that you need to button up your collar if you’re wearing a shirt. Will take a photo of it when I get the chance to.

So basically, my mom and I are going for colours in winter. Everyone’s going to be in black in monotones – black, grey and white. But we’re making a little effort to stand out. Who wouldn’t want to anyway? It’s the holidays, so why not. When uni starts, I might just revert back to the default monotones for convenience sake. For now, I will have fun. XD

my silk scarf is not big enough, so a reason to go and invest in a bigger one. :)

2011-07-06T01:40:00.001+10:00

this is your mathematical motivation–when math meets nike

2011-07-05T22:09:00.001+10:00

source

am I the apple of your eye?

2011-07-05T22:05:00.001+10:00

Girls are like
apples on trees. The best
ones are at the top of the tree.
The boys don't want to reach for
the good ones because they are afraid
of falling and getting hurt. Instead, they
just get the rotten apples from the ground
that aren't as good, but easy. So the apples
at the top think something is wrong with
them, when in reality, they're amazing.
They just have to wait for the right
boy to come along, the one
who's brave enough
to climb
all the way
to the top
of the tree.

source

2 decades later…–edited

2011-07-05T02:11:00.001+10:00

(Dotti mustard boyfriend fit jumper, Forever New silk shirtdress, Collete & Diva rings, ChiChi “BOYS BOYS BOYS!” nailpolish)

The BEST birthday present from my family. FINALLY, a sewing machine!

25 spools of thread, awesome fabric scissors ever, pins, and thread picker (?). LOVEEEE, from Josh.

handmade quilt from Josh’s family. XD you might be lucky enough to find the fabric here.

The chocolate cake Joshie baked and the candles from 100 yen in Malaysia.

As always, I had a quiet birthday. I don’t remember celebrating my birthdays with drinks, parties, lots of friends. One day, I just might have THE birthday party, just not yet. But, I think, this year’s presents must have been the best ones so far. Plus we had an intimate dinner in the apartment with family. It was homecooked and delish! So... As you can see, I got a sewing machine, basic sewing starter kit from Josh and a handmade Queen/King sized quilt from Josh’s family.

One the eve of my birthday, my family presented a biggggg wrapped box to me and without waiting till midnight, I opened it ever so carefully. Best surprise ever I reckon. While opening it, I kept wondering "WHAT could be so big?". It was definitely a pleasant surprise! The next day, Josh appeared in my apartment in the morning and baked me a chocolate cake like a good boy. :) Gave me a beautifully wrapped present from his family. It is the biggest and prettiest quilt I have ever seen. I squealed like a little girl when I saw how beautiful the pieces of fabrics are sewn together and cuddled the quilt like a new adopted baby. We then went to Doncaster shopping centre. Then to spotlight to choose whatever I want and need for my new hobby – sewing!! <3

So now I have TWO baby number 2s: my Yamaha and my brand spanking new sewing machine. XD

So very blessed and loved. ='D

maybe little red riding hood was cold all the time

2011-07-04T21:18:00.001+10:00

Signs of the end of times

2011-07-04T03:16:00.000+10:00

I just started reading the bible again. :) Now that I'm on holiday, I cannot give anymore excuses. Anyway, from Matthew 24, here are the signs of the end of times. Creeps me a little.

Verse 5: for many will come in my name, claiming, "I am the Messiah," and will deceive many. Verse 11: and many false prophets will appear and deceive many people. Verse 23: At that time if anyone says to you, "Look, here is the Messiah!" or, "There he is!"do not believe it. Verse 24: For the false messiahs and false prophets will appear and perform great signs and wonders to deceive, if possible, even the elect. Verse 26: So if anyone tells you, "There he is, out in the wilderness," do not go out; or, "Here he is, in the inner rooms," do not believe it.
Verse 6: you will hear of wars and rumours or wars, but see to it that you are not alarmed. Such things must happen, but the end is still to come.
Verse 7: Nation will rise against nation, and kingdom against kingdom. There will be famines and earthquakes in various places
Verse 9: then you will handed over to be persecuted and put to death, and you will be hated by all nations because of me.
Verse 10: At that time many will turn away from the faith and will betray and hate each other.
Verse 12: Because of the increase of wickedness, the love of most will grow cold. Verse 13: but the one who stands firm to the end will be saved.
RUN. Verse 16: then let those who are in Judea flee to the mountains. Verse 17: Let no one of the housetop go down to take anything out of the house. Verse 18: Let no one in the field go back to get their cloak. Verse 19 - 20: How dreadful it will be in those days for pregnant women and nursing mothers! Pray that your FLIGHT will not take place in winter or on the Sabbath. Verse 22: If those days had not been cut short, no one would survive, but for the sake of the elect those days will be shortened.
Verse 29: Immediately after the distress of those days, the sun will be darkened, and the moon will not give its light; and stars will fall from the sky, and the heavenly bodies will be shaken.
Verse 30: Then will appear the sign of the Son of Man in heaven. And then all the peoples of the earth will mourn when they see the Son of Man coming on the clouds of heaven, with power and great glory. Verse 31: And he will send his angels with a loud trumpet call, and they will gather his elect from the four winds, from one end of the heavens to the other.

"Now learn this lesson from the fig tree: As soon as its twig get tender and is leaves come out, you know that summer is near. Even so, when you see all these things, you know that it is near, right at the door." Matthew 24:32-33

Pre-birthday shopping

2011-06-30T20:19:00.000+10:00

(Dotti’s mustard boyfriend fit jumper, BYS #6 Smokey Purple eye palettes, BYS face primer, Collete rings, Chi Chi “BOYS BOYS BOYS!”, and Witchery cardigan)

Went to Chaddy – again! – and bought a few pieces which I lovedddd. I do apologise for the picture quality. It’s the poopoo IPhone 3GS. Also looking forward to upgrading my phone to the rumoured to-be-awesome IPhone 5. We;ll see. ;) Here are my selection of rings from Collete alone, up close and personal. They have really beautiful rings and necklaces this season. But I am more of a ring wearer so far, so I got rings instead. Personally, I think Collete has prettier things than Diva… and most probably cheaper in the sense that they are worth EVERY penny. Not surprised that Collete’s little slogan is “…I’d rather wear Collete”. It speaks for me!

They look soooo grunge in pictures. The multiple photography apps I have on the IPhone does not work their magic. In person, they are a beauty. Less grungy, more towards YSL inspired rings. The bottom chunky silver ring that is what I dare say, YSL Arty Oval inspired. So gorgeous. Now that I have these babies to sustain me for a while, my search for rings is (almost!) over.

her long lost sister all the way in UK

2011-06-29T01:37:00.001+10:00

Smokey Box bag from megagreat of asos marketplace Mine <3 from a boutique in Malaysia, mentioned in the previous post.

sole struck indeed.

2011-06-28T21:59:00.001+10:00

I am struck, by these Jeffrey Campbells. Anyone with spare change? Xx

99 Tie Benched

foxy esp foxy wood

so much ford

So I went out with my Lodgian high school friends today. It was so sunny during the day and I thought it wouldn’t be cold but nevertheless, I still wore a few layers and had a thin sweater with me – just in case. And sure enough, by sunset, it starts getting cold.

*Valleygirl dress, thrifted grey cotton cardi, thrifted royal purple velvet/mesh cardi,vintage bright pink silk scarf, hand-me-down black fluffy cardi as scarf and vintage-esque bag from Malaysia*

Joyce and Rachel met me at Melb Central at 2.45pm and wow, does it feel good to see them again! Then Zacq and Aaron came along to join us for lunch (although we have already finished eating by then) at the food court. Went into Sportsgirl and I loved EVERYTHING that’s in store right now.

Nearly got this sweater dress.

and… was so easy to fall in love with this baby too.

Obsessing with dark colours for the first time ever

2011-06-28T03:09:00.001+10:00

I’ve never really worn dark colours or black up till now. But, even since I’ve worn a couple of black skirts, I’ve been thinking of giving dark colours a go. And now, I am obsessed – particularly with these three pieces from asos.

‘Weather The Storm Dress’ by Evil Twin

‘Fringed Short Dress’ by Karen Millen

‘Mutiny in the Ranks’ by Evil Twin

NEED some dark on me. It is winter after all. *crave*

Blue has finally won me over

2011-06-22T19:39:00.001+10:00

For a long time, I loved pink to bits. But now, after having a long term love affair with blue, it has finally won me over. I am a convert. I LOVE Blue. I think these pieces speak for themselves. Mouse over for names and prices.

WANT, especially that long silk dress. Cross fingers that it goes on sale!

Defaced Birkin, or Gaga art?

2011-06-14T23:01:00.001+10:00

No one needs to be told that Lady Gaga has her own sense of fashion. She has a peculiar taste. Or is it the industry that’s demanding her to be like this? I can’t know for sure, but I am now thinking that it might be her own taste, not to the extreme new-age-space shuttle-suit-leather-lycra look.

Before After

I personally think it’s art. Not that I’ll EVER do that. Ever.

Gordon Ramsay in Malaysia.

2011-06-13T22:21:00.000+10:00

I CANNOT BELIEVE THIS. I didn't think ANYONE knew where Malaysia is on the map. But, apparently, Gordon Ramsay knows. And he's going there. Oh dear, I haven't watched this yet. But imagine him swearing his head off. Hopefully not, not in my country!

Can't wait to go home, and travel/roadtrip. :)

What exactly gets your attention?

2011-06-13T16:50:00.001+10:00

“Two weeks ago in Tampa I had dinner with a mother of three, a wife who recently became a Christian. A woman who has died twice. Literally.
She said to me, “I finally fear God. And because of that, I can finally get to know him for real .”
And maybe we don’t fear God because we’ve created a Jesus that is comfortable with materialism and claims that all your problems will go away once you’ve been saved.
God let his own son die for every single one of us to get our attention.
That obviously hasn’t worked.
Which begs the question,” Brian said as we finished breakfast, “What is He going to have to do to get our attention now?””

An abstract from M.A.D. As far as I know, we do not fear God. AT ALL. We claim that we believe in Him, and put all our trust in Him to make things right. We pray every night that God will bless us and our friends and “may tomorrow be a better day”. We pray that He will soften our hearts and quote “break my heart, for what breaks Yours”. At least I do. We’re in a mess. We step into deep shit, and expect Him to clean up our mess. We, being weaklings, walk into the grey area between light and darkness trying to get the most out of this sinful world without going against His words.

But we ALWAYS get burnt. And some of us, haven’t yet learnt that. Some of us, continually step into this grey area, trying to start anew all the time with human efforts but fail inevitably. This is my spiritual life. Always repeating the same mistakes.

Why do we claim that God is ever so forgiving and will understand everything that we do? I know the bible says so. But does that give us any reason to sin repeatedly? So why are we taking Him for granted? We’re ignoring Him again. We’re as fearless as ever. Why do we run back to our boyfriends when He tells us that it’s not right? Why do we do things that’s clearly against what the bible says? Why fashion instead of a steadfast spiritual life? Why sex before marriage and not after marriage? Why alcohol and not his flesh and blood? Why do one hotel room and not two? Why is everything against His will, and for the devil’s?

Is Satan’s offer so much better? Right now, it is. But later in life, we have eternity to pay for. The sin, the hurt, the guilt, the depression, the guilt. I’ve felt all of that. And yet I crawl back to the one who tears me into pieces time after time, instead of running back to The One who will definitely fix me. Why do I? Why do I cling to you when I should be clinging to Him?

And it’s not just me. My friends. My family. It’s everywhere. Everyone of us are lured into this grey area. The feeling of self accomplishment and unjust righteousness. We try to go around God’s Word. Every single one of us…. we’re despicable.

Sin do not measure to each other. They are just sin, and all sin is the same. Rapping someone is equivalent to undressing him/her in your mind. Murdering someone is the same as hating. Adultery is the same as lust. But yet, we over and over and over and over and fucking over again, repeat it.

God has already sent His Son to die for us to get our attention, as M.A.D had already put it. So what is He going to do now? My personal opinion? The second coming.

Falling in love

2011-06-12T15:38:00.001+10:00

So you fell in love with the one who doesn’t love you for who you are, and is continually pressuring you to be who he wants you to be. What do you do when you still feel the butterflies for him? What do you do when all you can do is cry when he pressures you.

Is there anything else you want to take away from me?

Frustration and disappointment

2011-06-11T20:53:00.001+10:00

So much frustration going on here. :( Been studying almost flat out everyday, except when I have exams on the day itself, and yet it feels like I am going nowhere at all. I am behind schedule and unmotivated ever since my the two BMS units are over and done with. And to be honest, I didn’t do good at either of them at all.

And while I’m studying, there is so much temptations everywhere. Everywhere is on sale now, and everyone’s shopping while I’m stuck in my little room, studying from 10am till 12am (of course with breakssss in between). And while I’m studying trying not to think of going shopping and stuff like that, I tell myself that at least uni students are studying and not shopping or out partying.

Looking forward to having fun and shopping after exams is my motivation and someone just HAD to ruin it. I’ve always been saying, “oh lets go chaddy blablablabla” and it will always be “why not after exams?”. Which seems fair, so no fuss. I can wait. But nooooooooooooooooo, someone JUST HAD go back on his words to go out partying last night while I am literally stuck in my room all day and all night. Not like I’m ever going to get better grades than you anyway! frick.

So much for after exams or “studying” so can’t come dinner with your family. Don’t you just hate it, when there’s a better offer out there, he/she just goes for it and leaves you there like you’re his/her second option? Well, fick dich.

Enough whining, now back to immunology.

Future plans

2011-06-08T18:55:00.001+10:00

After living with alone for so long, it’s hard to get used to living with family again. It is comfortable, but uncomfortable at the same time. Comfortable in the sense that you have someone to cook for you, do the laundry and what not. Uncomfortable in the sense that you get no privacy. There is stuff everywhere. Your little brothers annoy you. You can’t go on with normal partying and your normal independent life, because you have to tell your parents EVERYTIME you go out, when you’re coming home, where you’re going, who you’re going with.

As far as I know, my family is staying until they have fulfilled their PR requirement. So, just one year. Which is good. But what if my family decides to stay for longer? I think I will actually go insane. If it really does happen, I plan to move out. I want to live with friends. But not sure that I can afford the rent. So I am stuck with this… :(

The apartment is so crammed, and there’s shit everywhere. Aaric’s lego technic sits on my beautiful shelf and is an eyesore to me. Everything is an eyesore. I don’t want to live with family, to be honest. I can’t stand it. It’s so annoying. I miss my independent life. Freak, I want it back. Only a few more months to go, and hopefully everything returns to normal.

Just have to put up with it for a few months. ugh.

Black & White with a splash of colour

2011-06-08T16:15:00.001+10:00

What: MRS Ball
When: 12th May, Thursday
Where: San Remo Ballroom

PRE-BALL

started drizzling!

BALL!!!! XD

You may have realise two things. 1) The pictures are not in chronological order. 2) that Josh and I are not in the group photos, cos we’re hardly with the group when on the dancefloor. 3) this post is a MONTH late. 4) It is tagged “Festivals”. I don’t have a Party tag, so from now, Party tags will be under Festivals. If i remember in the future.

Matt Costa, my new favourite

2011-06-08T15:20:00.001+10:00

I have always loved Jack Johnson. I’m not quite sure how to describe Johnson… he reminds me of Wholefoods. On a sunny day, his songs makes me reminisce about my summer holiday – surfing with friends, lying on the beach making sandcastles with Annie, chewing on Maxi Bons, make short road trips and discovering old book shops and second hand stores and antique stores, making pancakes with my boy early in the morning for the family, bbqing, baking… All that.

And then I found another songwriter who does the same.. Almost to the same effect. He instead, makes me want to chill out in the park, having picnics. and probably some roadtripping, but definitely disccovering second hand and antique shops. He is Matt Costa. I highly recommend.

So I am stuck in Winter. Can’t wait for another Spring/Summer adventure. =D

What is a HD?

2011-06-06T15:35:00.000+10:00

I think the difference between D and HD should be the cut between just trying hard, and God damn trying hard. Because I was really gd trying hard, not to the max though. And yet as I read my anatomy questions, I couldn't answer so many of them.

Guaranteed C. Tomorrow, biochem.

Annoying meter just went up again.

2011-06-04T15:42:00.000+10:00

What annoys me is people trying to be all deep and meaningful and giving such insights into things that I already know. The problem is, that it is obvious to anyone and everyone. And the other problem is, that I already know it.

It suddenly seems like they are trying to be awesomer by loosing their already awesome self.

Stop stating the obvious, and start engaging with the not so obvious.

Liebemarlene

2011-05-25T17:57:00.000+10:00

Silent Sundays Summer 2011 Lookbook from Silent Sundays on Vimeo.

One of my favourite blogger has just launched her own online store.
Best bit is the video I reckon, well, so far.

I HAVE TO SCREAM IT

2011-05-25T17:13:00.001+10:00

before it all fades away.

Okay, here are my current mini achievements. I feel that I have to put it out there before I truly believe all my lies that I am not good enough.

Overall Runner up for DEV2011, with Pamela and Roo poster on “Tranverse section of Spinal Cord”. won a textbook!
3rd place overall for IMM2011 trivia, with Amanda and Eunu(?). won a chocolate.
D-HD presentations for BMS2021.
“Great draft report! You have a clear understanding of what is required. Keep it up!” DEV2011 demonstrator.
finished max 15 pages of DEV2011.
halfway there for IMM2011 report.

There. I need to stop beating myself up and stop listening to the inside voices that say “nope, not good enough. you missed out on that”. MUST STOP being so crazy. But, i do have a lot of work still. Having said that… I STILL need to study heaps.

UGH. SECOND YEAR IS BULLCRAP. This only applies to Biomed/Sc course. As far as I know, straight biomed kids have a slight easier load. Slight regret for taking a double degree. We’ll see.

I'm way knowledgable now. Like WAAAY.

2011-05-25T17:00:00.000+10:00

I can't wait till this is over and done with. Only 1.5 years till graduation. UGH. Right now, I can truly say that I might be able to score big time in my VCE science exams.

Damn it. I want to resit VCE.

panic

2011-05-25T16:58:00.001+10:00

Freak. 2 more weeks to memorise all the freaking muscles, nerves, arteries, veins, bones, aponeurosis, organs, glands, etc etc etc.

Doomed for anatomy.

2011-05-20T22:09:00.000+10:00

Okay, I'm not sure if i can get myself lost. I don't think I can afford to randomly roam around and get lost due to the upcoming events. exams. due dates. anyway, I've been researching. And here is what I ultimately want you to do when we are all gone and when no one can be trusted.

This is the only things you must believe. Please, for our love's sake.

A new (not THAT new) technology has been created to enable people to buy or sell, just by swiping their hand over the machine thing. Cool? Please, it is not. This is the mark of the beast. Anything that requires you to be branded on your hand and/or forehead, will be the mark of the beast. the number 666 will not be obvious, but what is obvious is that, whatever it is... it will be implanted, tattooed, written on, whatever on your HAND AND/OR FOREHEAD.

And for our love's sake, pleaes reject it. Someone high and mighty will implement this tech on everyone. If you reject it, you may be be beheaded, or tortured. If you accept it, you will live and continue to buy/sell, but you will be DAMNED ETERNALLY.

If you reject it, you will either be beheaded and/or tortured. However, God accepts you. This is your sheavenecond chance. <3

Remember, the book of Daniel and Revelation is important. read and understand. I want us all in .

Day 3: Running to one of my greatest fear - getting lost

2011-05-18T20:29:00.000+10:00

I have so much work to do. I have a 15 paged DEV2011 report. I have a IMM2011 report. I need to study for anatomy or at least know what we're doing tomorrow. Exams in less than 3 weeks. And I haven't started any revision. Oh no.

I think it's time for the Nott, although I'm not sure. Do you want me there? Should I even be at the Nott with so much work and stress? I'm looking forward to the weekend. I'm listening to Arcade Fire's "The Suburbs" album. and it reminds me of you, in fact, everything on my ITunes reminds me of you.

I need to getaway, from everything I know, from you, from our love.

I'm doing what we should've done before. I'm going to Southern Cross and am getting on a random platform. And I'm getting off at a random suburb, and roam around. Have an adventure, with pepper spray in hand - just in case.

I know I'll get lost. I know I may not find my way home, but it's what I think I need right now. I need to feel the fear of getting lost. Getting lost should be my greatest fear, but the fear of losing you seems to be taking over. So now, I'm running to what my greatest fear was 3 days ago. I'm going to lose my sense of direction (not that I had any, anyway! ==').

Damsel in distress!

2011-05-17T18:31:00.001+10:00

I realise that I have been given for what I have been praying for - courage and bravery. I think I prayed for the wrong thing. I am as yet to be sure of it, but at the moment I'm not sure if it's what I want.

Hang on, I need courage and bravery to get through this. What am I talking about? I think what I meant was, I should've prayed for happiness and love too. Then maybe my husband will come sooner. The next day maybe. My gosh, I am dying here. I am the damsel in distress. I need my knight in shining armour.

And knowing how it works, the knight in shining armour will probably save me right before it's all too late, right at the nick of time. Which means, I still have some waiting to do.

She is living my life.

2011-05-17T18:11:00.001+10:00

At the age of 20, Samantha Harris, Australia’s Aborigine-English model is engaged to long term boyfriend of 3 years. She met him at 17. They got engaged at 20.

Maybe you really have to be GOD DAMNED BEAUTIFUL to win a boy’s heart.

yikes

2011-05-16T22:17:00.000+10:00

I thought I was alright, until a caucasian/asian couple next to me were hugging in campus centre. It was us flashing before my eyes. and it pierced my heart. :'(

Regrets

2011-05-16T17:56:00.001+10:00

I regret not showing enough love and affection.
I regret starting everything that leads to this.
But I will make it through alive.

So I walked away...

2011-05-15T21:30:00.000+10:00

and just like that, we're free to fly. =)

a broken heart, a lost soul

2011-05-15T20:10:00.001+10:00

What can you do, when there’s nothing you could do to make things better.. to make it all go back to how it used to be? What happens if you let go, thinking that it’s all for the best, but it turned out that you’re wrong and he doesn’t come back? What happens when he’s met someone else? What happens when your other half has moved on and you haven’t? What happens to the next 10 years that you have planned to spend with him?

What happens then to the hopes and dreams that you have built around him?

This is Albert Einstein, when he was young.

2011-05-15T10:34:00.000+10:00

also watch THIS!!! click this sentence!!

I want you

2011-05-14T14:53:00.000+10:00

Here are two abstracts from Max Dubinsky's blogpost on "the Best Sex You've Never Had".

1. "I am on the road with a woman, and we can have sex at every red light if we want. It’s a nice fantasy, but keeping God my number one priority is a lot sexier.

That’s right.

I want her, but you know what I want more than that? God. Because I think He wants us to have crazy, amazing, awesome, dirty, sex lives. As long as we do it His way. Why do you think there is so much emotional baggage, jealousy, anxiety, and devastation in your sexual relationships–gay or straight–outside of marriage? Because you’re doing it your way.

And your way sucks.

We are constantly asking ourselves: how close can I get to sin?

Maybe we should start asking: how close can I get to Christ?

Are you living your potential today? Or just living for yourself?"

2. "Men, what would the world look like if every time we wanted to jerk off, we bought a sandwich for someone who was hungry?

We just solved world hunger. That’s what it would look like.

For once in your life stop over-analyzing everything and realize that our God is SIMPLE.

We always trying to complicate Him.

With rules."

With regulations.

With one sin being worse than the other."
To make matters more exciting, I just sponsored him breakfast. or lunch.

How to make us happy

2011-05-14T14:40:00.000+10:00

What turns a woman on, is seeing the man she loves treating little children like they're angels.
What makes a woman smile, is knowing that he is sincere when he talks about their future.
What makes a woman happy, is seeing the man she loves treating her parents like they're his.

2011-05-14T14:39:00.000+10:00

God will be there... maybe.

2011-05-08T15:59:00.000+10:00

I have a dearest friend who is facing some serious dilemma. I would like to think that it is the battle between doing what feels right, and doing what is right by God. For me, it is simple, but because I've been there, the simplicity immediately morphs into a complex equation.

Here's the thing about complex equations: More than not, the answer is simple. It's the solving the equation that leaves us stuck and unsure.

I've always said God will be there, for us, for anyone. He will be there watching, guiding and helping. But, if we consciously lead ourselves into temptation, we can't expect God to pull us out of it.

The devil tempted Jesus. He said something along the lines of "If you're God, why don't you jump off the cliff and call God to send his angels to save you?"But instead of jumping off the cliff, Jesus cooly replied "For it is said, do not tempt the Lord".

Same situation. We must not tempt the Lord. If we're stuck at an intersection and we know what's gonna happen if we do turn left, then don't turn left. Because if we do turn left, doesn't it tell us that we, ourselves, are finding fault? Doesn't it show the Lord that we are taking His forgiveness for granted?

So please everyone, don't turn left. Turn right.

Left and Right, with no in betweens.

2011-05-07T22:43:00.001+10:00

I have always wondered about atheism. They don't choose the devil, and they don't choose God. So does that really count? They're sitting on the fence. And alas, my prayer is answered. For today, I read "He who is not with me is against me..." Matthew 12:30. Jesus said it.

My 1 cent

2011-05-07T22:03:00.000+10:00

The last few weeks hadn't been easy. It consisted of mid-semester exams, studying shit hard, maintaining a broken relationship, and my ideals being challenged. I wasn't prepared to be beaten down by the devil because he took away the person I loved most, and challenged me about the old man up there who apparently loves me so much, when my midsems were around the corner. Not to forget the assignments and presentations.

So the devil was waiting, like the tiger waiting for the perfect moment to prance on its prey. It lurked around the dark corners of my life for a long time now. It searched for my weakness, and that, he targetted mercilessly. When my relationship was then taken away from me for the second time, I wondered why God let it happen. I was wrecked inside, but on the outside, I was a rock. I was studying for midsems, hanging and chilling out in uni as usual. I tried to surpress every feeling that may creep out of me and make ugly my day. I gave no time for my emotions, except at night, before I sleep where I let a few tears roll.

Right then and there, I thought I was Job of the year. Job was a wealthy believer in the Old Testament whose everything was taken away by the devil, for the devil was testing him. Yet Job stood tall and praised God. (Read the book of Job for more info). I didnt really understand why God let the devil ruin Job. But then I realise, that God wants us to choose Him. He wants us to love him at times when things are looking up, and when things are looking down. He will not force anyone to love him, or bribe anyone to love Him. It has to be our own conscious choice. For what use is there, when God bribes you to love Him? Will you be happy you if get all HDs and yet hate the dictorship that is ruled over you? Will you be happy with all the wealth and riches of the world? God is not a dictator. God has given us the ability to love, right from the start, and it was so that we will love Him just as He loves us. But the devil just had to ruin everything.

My point is, I understand God's plan now. Not all of it, but a section of it. He sent me here so that I may love the people around me for who they are, just as Jesus loves us for who we are. "For Christ died for sins once for all, the righteous for the unrighteous, to bring you to God..." 1 Peter 3:18.

So from here on, just as Jesus has commanded, I will love you for who you are. The only thing I ask from you is that you understand me, deeply, not superficially. Embrace my ideals and whole being, just as I am embracing yours now.

Honestly,

2011-05-07T18:03:00.000+10:00

I AM THE GREATEST HYPOCRITE THAT EVER LIVED.
by Dubinsky

Prepare yourselves as Mr. Dubinsky unravels some of our inner true selves.

The Bishop of London's Sermon

2011-05-01T01:04:00.000+10:00

This is the sermon given at The Royal Wedding.

“Be who God meant you to be and you will set the world on fire.” So said St Catherine of Siena whose festival day it is today. Marriage is intended to be a way in which man and woman help each other to become what God meant each one to be, their deepest and truest selves.

Many are full of fear for the future of the prospects of our world but the message of the celebrations in this country and far beyond its shores is the right one – this is a joyful day! It is good that people in every continent are able to share in these celebrations because this is, as every wedding day should be, a day of hope.

In a sense every wedding is a royal wedding with the bride and the groom as king and queen of creation, making a new life together so that life can flow through them into the future.

William and Catherine, you have chosen to be married in the sight of a generous God who so loved the world that he gave himself to us in the person of Jesus Christ.

And in the Spirit of this generous God, husband and wife are to give themselves to each another.

A spiritual life grows as love finds its centre beyond ourselves. Faithful and committed relationships offer a door into the mystery of spiritual life in which we discover this; the more we give of self, the richer we become in soul; the more we go beyond ourselves in love, the more we become our true selves and our spiritual beauty is more fully revealed. In marriage we are seeking to bring one another into fuller life.

It is of course very hard to wean ourselves away from self-centredness. And people can dream of doing such a thing but the hope should be fulfilled it is necessary a solemn decision that, whatever the difficulties, we are committed to the way of generous love.

You have both made your decision today – “I will” – and by making this new relationship, you have aligned yourselves with what we believe is the way in which life is spiritually evolving, and which will lead to a creative future for the human race.

We stand looking forward to a century which is full of promise and full of peril. Human beings are confronting the question of how to use wisely a power that has been given to us through the discoveries of the last century. We shall not be converted to the promise of the future by more knowledge, but rather by an increase of loving wisdom and reverence, for life, for the earth and for one another.

Marriage should transform, as husband and wife make one another their work of art. It is possible to transform as long as we do not harbour ambitions to reform our partner. There must be no coercion if the Spirit is to flow; each must give the other space and freedom. Chaucer, the London poet, sums it up in a pithy phrase:

“Whan maistrie [mastery] comth, the God of Love anon,

Beteth his wynges, and farewell, he is gon.”

As the reality of God has faded from so many lives in the West, there has been a corresponding inflation of expectations that personal relations alone will supply meaning and happiness in life. This is to load our partner with too great a burden. We are all incomplete: we all need the love which is secure, rather than oppressive, we need mutual forgiveness, to thrive.

As we move towards our partner in love, following the example of Jesus Christ, the Holy Spirit is quickened within us and can increasingly fill our lives with light. This leads to a family life which offers the best conditions in which the next generation can practise and exchange those gifts which can overcome fear and division and incubate the coming world of the Spirit, whose fruits are love and joy and peace.

I pray that all of us present and the many millions watching this ceremony and sharing in your joy today, will do everything in our power to support and uphold you in your new life. And I pray that God will bless you in the way of life that you have chosen, that way which is expressed in the prayer that you have composed together in preparation for this day:

God our Father, we thank you for our families; for the love that we share and for the joy of our marriage.

In the busyness of each day keep our eyes fixed on what is real and important in life and help us to be generous with our time and love and energy.

Strengthened by our union help us to serve and comfort those who suffer. We ask this in the Spirit of Jesus Christ. Amen."

What am I doing?

2011-04-27T18:40:00.001+10:00

I was back to normal after talking heaps with Josh.

Then I saw a friend's picture of her and her boyfriend at PlanetShakers.

It literally stabbed me in the heart.
:'(

Last July, this April

2011-04-24T11:05:00.000+10:00

Woke up this morning feeling fine.
Checked my phone and weeyy, I've received a message early in the morning.
I proceeded to open and read the text.
I should be calm but I can't help but to feel that it's happening all over again.

I'm going to the Market with the family.
Hopefully that will keep my mind off it.
If this time it doesn't work, I tell myself,
Then it probably never will.
So whatever happens, it's for the best.

Don't think I should keep thinking about it but
It's all coming back to me.
Damn it.
And it hasn't been a year since.
I'll just man it up.

Easter Friday footie lesson

2011-04-23T02:18:00.001+10:00

When: Easter Friday, 22rd April
Where: Phoenix Park

On a fine Easter morning, I received a text from mom saying she'll be busy in the apartment so she needed me to take the kids to the park. I thought “Why not?”. I love the sunshine and spending my days out in the sun. So I said yes.

Josh and I went to pick up the children from my apartment. We're set to leave in 10 minutes with their bottled water, sandwiches and jumpers - and not to forget, Aaric got himself a footie. We went to Phoenix Park, which is in Malvern. Well, at least I think it is. Near to my place. First thing's first when we got there. We needed to teach the boys how to kick a footie.

Out in the open grass, Josh had the two boys to his side. Each intently looking and listening to his instructions. Then I remembered, I knew how to kick a footie. But I can't remember who taught me. Callum? Josh? Anyway bottom line is, we had my two little brothers, and there were the two of us who knows how to kick the footie. Obviously I’m not as pro as I would like to be.

Nevertheless, the next 1.5 hours consisted of kicking the footie, playing in the playground, playing hide and seek with a few other children there, teaching Bryan how to swing… While I watching Bryan being pushed by Josh on the swing, the tiniest blonde little baby boy wobbly occupies himself with the swing next to me/next to Bryan. And he said in his cutest voice, tilting his head backwards, “could you please push me”. How could I say no. So I gave him a push to start him off. And a couple more for the momentum. He was so tiny, I felt he was going to drop out of the swing and land flat on his face anytime the swing swings forwards. So scary.

And the little boy in the red t-shirt said “roof”. I was like ?. Turns out, he wanted to try those monkey bar things. After observing how Josh picked Bryan up and pushed him on that funny little monkey bar thing, I proceeded to do the same for the little boy. And boy did he love it. He was so light as well. Oh, so cute. It’s amazing how little children trust strangers so much.

After the little boy left, I gave the swing a go. Not immediately, but this happened afterwards. A little girl with shoulder-length, straight, brown hair came up to me and said “could you please push me?”. AWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW. How could I say no? Oh children, they can be so cute. <3

I cannot describe how I felt as I sat on the bench, watching Josh run up and down the place with my two little brothers, guiding them as they learn to kick the footie. And I don’t know how to describe to you the feeling I felt, when my two little brothers were fighting over who gets to kick the footie to Josh next. I was standing right there, being the second coach, and none of them fought over me. *pouts*

I had my lomo camera with me but a roll of film wasn’t enough, so I took the last couple of them using my iphone… as shown here. Can’t wait to develop the films!

Prince charming

2011-04-16T23:41:00.001+10:00

I keep telling myself that I am happy. But this misleading happiness starting to side track me from my walk with Jesus.
But some things just don't change.
I'm still waiting for my prince in shining armour.

Someone who stops me dead on my tracks.
Someone who thinks that I stop HIM dead on his tracks.
Someone who loves me more than I love him.
Someone who just know knows it when we meet.
Someone who wants to see me heaven.

Take your time, but not too much

2011-04-16T23:38:00.001+10:00

I will raise my children so that their grandparents are like their second set of parents.
And that my best friends will be their third set of parents.
They will take morning strolls in the park with mom and dad or the in laws.
They will sing songs about the blue sky over breakfast.
They will demand hugs and cuddles before bed time.
Our home will be filled with our children's laughter and giggles.
Our hall will be decorated with their smiles.

For the first time, I'm not hurrying the one to come.
I'm willing that he takes his time so that God will have sufficient time to mould the both of us perfect for each other.

Meanwhile, immunology midsem this Monday.
1 more day to study the whole course.
Wing it you reckon?
If I nail this one, it will be the most amazing thing I will have ever done.